Dissapointments and Happiness


Well, this weekend didn’t go anthing like I had planned it to. Upon getting off work Friday night, I took off, getting everything necessary ready to leave for Tulsa Saturday morning. But when I went to rehearse my pieces I realized I was in too much pain to do so.

You see, I have Fibromyalgia. Now, I’m aware of everything that is said about Fibromyalgia, but if you are one of the people affected by it, then you know, it’s real. It’s been in a fairly good remission for around two years, now, only occasionally popping up. I take an anti-inflamatory daily, though and that usually keeps it fairly under control. Usually when I start hurting after a good nights rest I feel much better and can go about my daily life. So on Friday night I thought, “Well, I know my material, I’ll just get some rest and run through it tomorrow before the performance.”

I woke up in more pain than I have been in, in years. Every muscle was hurting, and I was exhausted. For about several hours I sat in bed convinced if I waited long enough, it would abate. At 3:30, though, I realised there was no way my body could handle the ride to Tulsa and at that point, I didn’t think I could dance, especially after the drive. In tears I posted on the Facebook page I was cancelling my performance. I was horribly upset, but thanks to my dear Amber, she cheered me up and ordered sushi for dinner.

Then, I remembered that there was a Summer Soltice Drum Circle going on about 20 minutes away from my house. I asked Amber if we could go and of course she said yes. I’m not sure if it was the dead, raw, fish or the anti-inflammatories, but I started feeling better, at least enough to get ready. I found out one of my newest dance sisters was also attending and we had quite a fun, girly time messaging on Facebook deciding what we were going to wear and how we were doing our hair!

We got out to the event, which was held right on the lake to find a large bonfire and drummers and musicians playing enchanting rhythms, all under the brilliant light of the Supermoon! A few pleasantries were exchanged, introductions to a few people and then we just started dancing. We danced and danced. It was hot, but the heat and the rhythm of the drums and water seemed to give me energy and happiness which fueled me to dance more.

I had a blast!! We would stop and then start again, some nice people gave us bottles of water, we’d take a break and then dance again. It was very informal, sometimes we’d face the spectators, dancing for the people. And then we’d change and dance for the drummers and the water and the moon.

It was really one of the neatest performance experiences I’ve ever been fortunate enough to have. Several years ago someone made the comment after watching me rehearse that they didn’t think I was dancing for anything on earth, that I was dancing for the moon and the stars and the spirits. That was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, and I have carried it with me ever since. Well, for once, I was dancing for the moon and the stars and the spirits. Of course, I was dancing for my audience, too, they were part of the whole.

And so, I got to perform on Saturday night anyway. After the drum circle, Amber, my dance sister Cassandra and I went to Ihop for some post-performance nom and giggles; I love walking into public places all decked out in my performance gear! The rest of the weekend passed quietly, my muscles were very unhappy all day yesterday, some pool and hot tub time, and I could barely get out of the hot tub.

Still, dancing was worth it and even though I had to miss the Tulsa Drillhaus and the instruction and hafla, I got my dancing in and had a blast doing it. I guess it just goes to show that even when things go “wrong” everything can turn out alright.
Smiles and shimmies 🙂 E


One response »

  1. Pingback: Licking My Wounds | terry1954

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